My evening commute with an amazing listener

I know rideshare drivers act like good listeners so they can get good ratings but my conversations with Matthew felt different, they did not feel inauthentic and it did not feel like he was just listening for the sake of a good rating. I felt like he wanted to learn something from him and for me to learn something from him.

It was 3:45 p.m., and I'd been waiting for my transport home for quite some time. Matthew arrived to take me up and apologised for the delay. He humbly addressed me as "Boss," which I didn't like because it wasn't something I heard very often. My 45-minute drive began as soon as I got into his car. Matthew broke the ice just a few minutes into the trip. He inquired as to what form I was in. (The term "form" refers to grades/years in the Tanzanian secondary education system). I told him I was in a Form 6 equivalent and that I followed a different curriculum (the IB diploma programme). He was intrigued by the diploma program and he showered me with a barrage of questions. His first query was, "What subjects do you take?" When I told him I take six subjects, he was astonished, surprised, and shaken. He inquired as to how I managed all of them.  I felt a bit awkward answering that question because IB subjects are much easier than national curriculum subjects, therefore studying 6 IB subjects is not that challenging for me, so I simply told him I just have my ways of dealing with all of that work. He laughed.

He was curious about the IB and the subjects I studied. I told him about the diploma programme and the courses I studied (Chemistry HL, Biology HL, Economics HL, Math AA SL, English LAL SL, and Kiswahili B SL). He was taken aback by the fact that I took chemistry, biology, and economics all at the same time. The idea of studying sciences and humanities together in high school was novel to him, but he seemed to be interested in it. The inquiries proceeded, and he asked what I wanted to study at university, and I told him I was thinking about majoring in biochemistry. He then inquired as to what I could accomplish with a biochemistry degree. To be honest, I informed him that biochemistry is a diverse degree and that I can do a variety of things after college, from scientific research to medication development to biomaterial engineering. He then asked what I wanted to accomplish out of everything I mentioned. I told him I wanted to be a scientific researcher. He then revealed that he had never heard of a biochemistry major and that I am the first student he has met who wishes to study biochemistry.

He then began to reflect on his high school years. He told me that for his A levels, he studied Economics, Commerce, and Accounting (ECA). He mentioned that he loves economics, and we began talking about it. When he asked if I understood anything about national income, I lied and said no (we covered national income in economics class, but I didn't recall much that day). He explained national income to me, and he appeared to be able to talk about it for a long time. I merely nodded and smiled as he explained the concept to me with a slight shimmer in his eyes. He finished describing the concept to me, and suddenly everything fell silent. He tells me out of nowhere that he regrets studying ECA and wishes he had pursued a STEM area in high school. "How do you take business-related subjects when you don't own a business?" he inquired. The atmosphere in the car was sombre.  He assured me that STEM majors were superior in almost every way, and I agreed unenthusiastically.

The talk of STEM and regret made me feel awkward, and our chit-chat was cut short for a while until he began to give me advice. "Life on the streets is hard, my son," he remarked, urging me to study hard. He told me that after graduating from high school, he decided not to attend college because he had lost hope in pursuing a future job with the subjects he was studying. As a result, he began doing side hustles and small businesses until he obtained a more steady job as a Bolt driver. He told me that financial independence stories outside of higher education tend to be a fad. He exhorted me to study harder yet again, this time with greater zeal in his eyes. I told him I would, his sudden vigour had slightly spooked me.

We both just stared at the road calmly contemplating our lives for the rest of the voyage. Matthew's remarks about his high school and subsequent years reminded me of chats I had with a good friend, Brian. Brian frequently discusses how people do what they love at school, but their circumstances do not support their enthusiasm, and they wind up doing something they don't care about for the rest of their lives. I generally merely respond to his views with "I guess it's unfortunate," but my journey with Matthew that day demonstrated how disheartening it can actually be.

He left me off at home at 4:35 p.m., and I thanked him for the trip and for talking to me.  He said it was fine, and he urged me one more time to put in a lot of effort into my education.  I nod, step out of his car, and he drives away. I slowly walked to the front door still contemplating Matthew’s words.